j-j-jaded

II am understanding, in a new way, the command God gives us to guard our hearts. Proverbs 4 goes into detail about the importance of wisdom for a follower of Christ in this world. It then goes into saying, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." According to scripture, this seems like a pretty important thing..."above ALL ELSE..."

This has meant different things to me at different times in my life, but recently, it has become crucial to my ability to love. THe world tells us that loving someone (I'm referring to more of a romantical relationship here)depends mainly on what they do for US...how can you fulfill ME? Eventually, when you are in a relationship with this constant mindset, you will be let down.It is a certainty that you will feel invalidated and UNfulfilled. If they do you wrong to don't give you that satisfaction you think you need from them, you drop them...and look for your prince charming elsewhere. However, I have come to learn (although I thought I already knew this) that this kind of love does NOT last...no matter how charming the prince is. TO love someone with the expectation of having them fulfill who you are is selfish and really has little to do with LOVE at all.

But how do you really go on treating someone in a loving way when they keep letting you down? How do you love when you don't FEEL love?

Allowing God to be my refuge and letting Him guard my heart in these times is the only way I can continue to love when I don't feel like it. I'm not saying that we should be hardened to how people treat us and let it not affect us, because I fully believe in living life NOT numb. However I have come to find the freedom in letting God protect that part of our hearts that give us life. It is so easy in this world to let satan defeat us by giving in to disappointments and failures in our relationships..to believe that everyone will let you down and there is not really any true love out there. However, there is a REAL and TRUE love that never ever fades or goes away.

Mr Webster says that >> jad⋅ed [jey-did] means "worn out or wearied, as by overwork or overuse". Who really wants to live out there lives that way? I don't care how many times I've been disappointed or feel like i've been used, I don't want to be worn out or wearied by love. I want to live a life FULL of the powerful love that God showed on Calvary. I want to be able to love beyond my selfish thoughts and needs and to show others that they too can be loved in a way that reaches to the very depths of their souls. Hey j-j-jaded? I think not.